Episode 130 – Jaclyn Strominger

Anna Covert [00:00:03]:

Aloha. My name is Anna Covert, and this week on The Covert Code, the topic is Why Your Relationships Are Your Greatest Business Asset.

My very special guest is Jaclyn Strominger, founder of Leap To Your Success, speaker, co-author of Charting True North, host of the Unstoppable Success podcast, and creator of the Relationship Capital Formula and LEAP Framework.

For over 30 years, she's worked with leaders, entrepreneurs and high performers to help them create relationships that build influence, unlock opportunities and create long-lasting success.

Thanks so much for being here today, Jaclyn.

Jaclyn Strominger [00:00:42]:

I'm so glad to be here with you, Anna. It's such a pleasure.

Anna Covert [00:00:48]:

Thank you.

We like to begin with the CliffsNotes version.

Tell us the Jaclyn story. How did you get from where you were to where you are right now?

Jaclyn Strominger [00:00:58]:

Oh my God. CliffsNotes.

I have a couple of different stories, but the one that really solidifies where I'm sitting right now also explains how I ended up in Reno, Nevada.

I'm an East Coast girl.

Back in 2018, I was living in Massachusetts. I have two children. One is now in college, and one is literally about to go to college.

I grew up in Massachusetts, went from Massachusetts to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to New York City, New York City back to Massachusetts.

I was doing what we all do. I was driving my kids to school and living life.

Then one day I was listening to Katy Perry's song Roar, and I realized I wasn't roaring anymore.

I thought: Where am I going? What am I doing? I'm on freaking autopilot.

Something needed to shift.

I went home and wrote out my vision and mission.

My husband came home, and I told him we basically had to make a choice.

We were two ships passing in the night.

He was working in Boston. I was working outside Boston. We'd come home and just exist.

I didn't feel like that was what I wanted for our family.

Something had to give.

We started talking about moving.

Then while my husband was attending a conference, he asked, "What do you think about Reno, Nevada?"

I said, "Honey, Google."

I looked it up.

It said it was an up-and-coming area, great outdoors, near Lake Tahoe.

For everyone who doesn't know, Reno is nowhere near Las Vegas. It's approximately an eight-hour drive.

We came out around Memorial Day weekend.

My husband is a physician, so he was meeting with doctors.

We ended up finding a house.

On August 1, we rolled out of Massachusetts.

It happened incredibly fast.

Then I realized:

I had built businesses because I knew people.

And now I knew nobody.

If you count my realtor and the person who did my mortgage, I knew two people.

I had always been the person people called when they needed a connection.

"Do you know someone?"

I always knew somebody.

I realized I needed to take that natural skill and put it intentionally into action.

The moving truck was late.

I took a cold shower because I discovered we didn't have hot water.

And two days after moving into Reno, I went to an event with approximately 25 women.

And we took off.

Eventually, people who had lived in Reno their entire lives started telling me, "Jaclyn, you know more people than I do."

That's when I realized I needed to teach people how to build relationships.

My business took off.

That's really how I ended up in Reno and how I ended up doing what I'm doing now.

Anna Covert [00:07:03]:

That's such a great story.

I went to Bentley University in Waltham, Massachusetts, so I love Boston.

My Boston story is that we didn't have smartphones when I was there. We had MapQuest.

I'm dyslexic, so if you missed one turn, forget it.

I got a car my second year and ended up stuck in a rotary because nobody would let me out.

I was crying after about ten minutes.

A police officer noticed me, helped me out and said, "Sweetheart, if you're going to drive in Boston, you have to buck up."

I said, "Yes, sir."

Then I became a crazy Boston driver.

When I got to Hawaii, that backfired because people don't drive like that here.

But I love your story because relationship-building really is a skill that can be learned.

You also have this great podcast, and I'm excited to be on yours sometime.

Why did you decide to write the book?

You co-authored it. Did you always want to write a book?

Jaclyn Strominger [00:08:43]:

It actually goes back to relationships.

I started appearing on podcasts because being on a podcast itself is a skill.

As a success strategist, I was helping people become what I call the CEO of you.

Leadership starts there.

I appeared on different podcasts talking about leadership and eventually met Damian Andrews.

I stay in contact with a lot of people after being a guest on their podcasts.

Damian and I continued talking.

Then he saw something I posted after I started my podcast.

He said, "I think we need to start a mastermind."

I said, "I think you're right."

We tried promoting it through LinkedIn and social media, and eventually I thought, this is more pain than I want to deal with.

But we kept meeting on Zoom and having these amazing conversations.

Eventually we asked:

What if we wrote a workbook together about leadership?

We started looking at the leadership books that were already out there, and there wasn't really one structured the way we were thinking about it.

So through building this relationship, the opportunity came for the two of us to co-author a book.

We wanted to give people a framework for beginning to lead themselves through what we call authentistic leadership.

The book has several sections.

It begins with understanding yourself as an authentic leader.

There's emotional intelligence.

Who are you?

Be the CEO of you before you can be the CEO of anything else.

There are exercises around emotional intelligence and authenticity.

Then there are approximately 30 or 40 journal prompts using words such as fear, laughter, calm and other emotions.

What comes into your mind when you see that word?

What meaning have you attached to it?

Then the final portion is 30 days of reflection.

Each day, you reflect on how you showed up as a leader — whether you're leading yourself, a team or a company.

Every one of us is a leader because we have to lead ourselves first.

It's a way to close out each day so you can start tomorrow fresh.

We're also developing more around the book, including what we're calling Pathfinder and a licensing program where people can use the book within masterminds and become Pathfinder guides.

Anna Covert [00:14:31]:

That's very exciting.

Now tell me about your Relationship Capital Formula.

That's not actually in the book, right?

Jaclyn Strominger [00:14:41]:

No. That's not in the book.

It's particularly important today because we have so much social media.

The Relationship Capital Formula is:

RC = P × A.

Relationship Capital equals People times Action.

Then you can take that to the nth degree because of all the people the people you know also know.

You and I respectively know hundreds of people.

If you look at LinkedIn, I have thousands of connections.

Do I know all of them personally?

No.

But they're connections.

The key is that every one of those people has their own network.

So I meet you.

What's my action?

Maybe I invite you to something.

Maybe I introduce you to someone.

But I have to do something.

Relationship Capital is the people you know times an action.

It isn't simply shaking someone's hand.

And it's definitely not immediately unloading everything you sell onto someone.

Anna Covert:

Pitch slapping.

Jaclyn Strominger:

Exactly.

Don't do that in person either.

Think about the compounding effect.

You meet someone.

You have an action.

Then that person introduces you to six more people.

Each of those people knows hundreds of people.

The network expands incredibly quickly.

That's why building that initial relationship is so important.

The action is:

Connect. Engage. Offer.

What is the action?

That's really the heart of the Relationship Capital Formula.

Anna Covert [00:18:12]:

I still love paper business cards.

I've tried digital ones twice, but I can't remember the person once their information goes straight into my phone.

With a physical card, I remember it.

Then I can find the person on LinkedIn, follow up or send the information to my assistant.

Jaclyn Strominger [00:18:41]:

I love a memorable card.

My card has a QR code, but it also has texture.

Invest in a good card.

Another thing I tell people is to create a way to capture what you discussed with someone.

Your phone can be useful for taking notes immediately afterward.

Then you can potentially use technology or AI to parse those notes into follow-up actions.

The key thing is creating the follow-up.

I see so many people go to an event, spend two hours there and then do nothing.

The stack of cards sits on the desk.

Part of the Relationship Capital Formula is creating the action plan.

If you spend two hours at an event, be prepared to spend meaningful time on the follow-up.

You have to get the ROI from the time you invested.

Anna Covert [00:20:48]:

And a generic email sent to everyone at the event doesn't feel authentic.

Jaclyn Strominger [00:20:52]:

Exactly.

On my website, I have free workbooks.

Someone can message me and say they want the networking workbook.

It's a simple workbook with steps for knowing who you're reaching out to and how you're going to follow up.

I also have a deeper seven-day Relationship Capital Challenge.

It's free.

The reason I call it a challenge is because I want people to seriously examine where they're spending their time.

When I moved to Reno and didn't know anyone, I started attending all these different networking events.

Eventually, I had to stop and ask:

Which of these are actually worth my time?

That's part of the challenge.

Look at where you're spending time and what the ROI actually is.

If you're not getting an ROI, don't just keep attending because someone told you it takes years.

Anna Covert [00:22:56]:

It's like fishing.

If you're in the boat and you keep fishing in the same cove and there aren't any fish, eventually you have to move the boat.

Jaclyn Strominger:

Exactly.

You have to go somewhere else.

Anna Covert [00:23:34]:

I also think about what you can offer someone that doesn't immediately feel salesy.

My book has been one of the best business cards I could have.

People don't tend to throw books away.

Maybe it's the book. Maybe it's your podcast. What is the thing you can offer?

Jaclyn Strominger [00:24:07]:

That's the offer part of Connect, Engage, Offer.

You and I could be talking at an event.

You might mention something related to Forbes.

I could realize I know someone who might benefit from that.

So I offer to make an introduction.

You're offering a human to a human.

But that requires listening.

Actually listen to what someone is saying.

Remember their name.

Don't spend the conversation thinking about what you're going to say next.

Take it in.

Pause.

Think:

Is there something I might be able to offer this person?

Maybe it's a book.

Maybe it's an article.

You can follow up and say, "It was great meeting you. Based on our conversation, I thought you might enjoy this article."

Then perhaps the relationship moves to coffee or a Zoom call.

It's a process.

The place people get hung up is saying, "She's not the right client. I don't have anything to sell her."

Take selling out of it.

Maybe you simply connected and want to build the relationship.

Every relationship can potentially lead to an opportunity.

Anna Covert [00:26:25]:

Absolutely.

I get business from people I haven't heard from in years.

Suddenly someone has a problem with fraud and thinks of me.

Or they need help with a website.

Find what you can genuinely add value around and become a resource.

Jaclyn Strominger [00:26:55]:

When you become that resource for somebody, it changes the entire dynamic.

We get so caught up in needing to make a sale.

Of course we all need sales.

But think long-term.

Walk into a local store.

See what they need.

I have a client building a vegan bakery business.

I walked into a coffee shop and noticed they had baked goods from another bakery.

I asked whether they might be interested in vegan cinnamon buns, vegan donuts or other vegan products.

They initially said they already had a bakery relationship.

I said, "I'm sure you do. But I bet they're not giving you those vegan products your customers might want."

They went and got the name of the person my client should contact.

It didn't take much.

It's a contact game.

I passed the opportunity to my client.

Anna Covert [00:29:02]:

It also feels good to share what you're passionate about.

I do nonprofit work and love teaching people about website design and digital strategy even if there's no business opportunity attached.

Jaclyn Strominger [00:29:26]:

Exactly.

Building relationships is the long game.

I have business relationships and friendships I've had for years.

It doesn't matter how much time has passed.

I can pick up the phone and say, "I'm looking for somebody who needs X, Y or Z. Do you know anyone?"

Anna Covert [00:30:08]:

Now someone goes to the networking event.

They listen.

They remember names.

They follow up.

Then they don't hear anything.

How do they maintain momentum without becoming annoying?

And how do they know when to stop?

Jaclyn Strominger [00:30:41]:

Think in twos.

If I meet you today, I send a follow-up.

Use two methods.

Email and social.

Email and text.

Whatever is appropriate.

Track what you're doing.

Write it down.

Use your CRM.

Find some way to know what you've done.

Maybe the person didn't receive the email.

Maybe it went into spam.

Two days later, reach out through another appropriate channel and simply say:

"I wanted to make sure you received the message I sent."

If another couple of days pass and you still don't hear back, acknowledge that everyone is busy.

Tell them you're going to put them on your call list for next month.

Pick a date.

Put it on your calendar.

Then make sure you actually reach out on that date.

You can also give them an out:

"If you aren't interested in staying connected, please let me know. No harm, no foul."

Make it easy.

You can even make it lighthearted.

The point is to remain consistent without making it weird.

Anna Covert [00:34:01]:

That's the important part.

It's business.

You need commitment and consistency.

Jaclyn Strominger [00:34:16]:

Exactly.

Remember that it's your business.

If you've decided that building relationships is an important part of your business, then building the relationships is your responsibility.

Not everyone you meet will have the same intention.

But if your intention is to build relationships, you need to take the action.

Don't get so caught up wondering whether you're saying the perfect thing or whether they like you.

If they don't respond, don't immediately get into your head.

You're the one making the connection.

You're the one building the relationship.

Anna Covert [00:35:23]:

You can't win them all.

You move on.

It's like sampling at Costco. You're not going to love every snack. Keep going until you find one you like.

Jaclyn Strominger:

Exactly.

Some will. Some won't. So what?

It gets easier the more you do it.

Anna Covert [00:35:54]:

Let's talk about the LEAP Framework.

Jaclyn Strominger:

The Relationship Capital Formula is part of a larger system of creating an intentional action plan.

LEAP came out of the experience I had when I made that huge move across the country.

I realized how many of us become stuck on the hamster wheel.

We keep driving in circles.

LEAP stands for:

Leveraging Communication.

Energy.

Action.

Performance.

Leveraging Communication is both the communication you have with yourself and what you communicate to other people.

It's your vision.

Your mission.

Your strengths.

You need clarity around how you communicate who you are to yourself and to the world.

Then comes Energy.

How are you showing up?

How do you show up every day?

How are you showing up for yourself?

When you walk into the office, are you excited?

Are you worried about what people think of you?

How are you coming across?

Energy matters enormously.

We've all heard in sales that someone can hear your smile through the phone.

If you're not smiling, don't make the call yet.

Stand up.

Reset.

If you're walking into a room thinking, "I need a sale, I need a sale, I need a sale," people can feel that energy.

I went through a period where I was feeling desperate because I was going through the motions.

When I fixed that, it felt like the world opened back up.

Then the A is Action.

We've clarified our communication.

We know our vision and mission.

We've looked at our energy.

Now what's the actual plan?

What steps are we taking to reach that vision?

Finally, Performance.

I describe Performance as:

Measure. Monitor. Adjust.

Look at how things are actually performing.

People talk about 30-, 60- and 90-day plans and 90-day sprints.

The important part is actually measuring what happened.

If you keep fishing in the same cove and there aren't any fish, stop wondering why you aren't eating.

Move the boat.

Measure what you're doing.

Monitor it.

Adjust.

If you aren't measuring something today, put a mechanism in place so you can.

That's where the LEAP Framework came from.

It applies to personal life and business life.

And you need to revisit it.

People write a vision and mission, put it in a notebook and never look at it again.

But people change.

Businesses change.

Anna Covert [00:41:59]:

That's something I've learned doing branding.

We'll go through the brand exercise with a company, and then three years fly by.

It's still the same company, but it's not really the same company anymore.

Now I like to do an annual pulse check.

This is what we said we wanted to be.

Is that still who we are?

Is that still who we want to become?

Jaclyn Strominger [00:42:11]:

Exactly.

It matters tremendously from a leadership standpoint.

People evolve.

Companies evolve.

Companies may be created by a founder, but the culture becomes shaped by the people the company hires.

Those hiring decisions need to connect back to your values, your vision and your mission.

If you hire the wrong people, you're going to feel it.

Anna Covert [00:42:43]:

That's absolutely true.

People don't all need to be identical, but there needs to be an alignment of values and energy.

One person who is completely misaligned can create dissonance throughout an organization.

Jaclyn Strominger:

Exactly.

And sometimes alignment changes.

People change.

Companies change.

Sometimes the people who were perfect for the business at one stage aren't the right people several years later.

That doesn't necessarily mean something bad happened.

It may simply be growth.

Great leaders also need to recognize when the people they've developed are ready to grow and move on.

If you've helped someone become capable of doing something bigger, celebrate that.

Pat yourself on the back.

You've helped elevate that person.

And if you've done the relationship part well, that person may remain one of the strongest relationships you have for the rest of your career.

Anna Covert [00:46:01]:

Absolutely.

This has been such a great conversation.

How can people connect with you?

Jaclyn Strominger:

The best place is my website.

You can also find me on LinkedIn.

I'm probably more active on LinkedIn than on any of the other social platforms.

Anna Covert:

We'll include all of Jaclyn's links below.

Thank you so much for being here.

And to all of my listeners, if you have not yet subscribed to this channel, please do so.

We've reached more than 220,000 subscribers, and it's overwhelming. It's because of you and your aloha.

Please share this content with people you think will benefit from it so I can continue bringing great guests like Jaclyn onto the show to share their wisdom.

I cannot wait to see you next week in the pixels.

Aloha.